Fear of failure or fear of success…is there a difference?
You’ve been hearing me talk in the videos and reading on this blog about what I’m planning with dropping content every week for a year, possibly longer. I’ve talked about how excited I am to get this content out there into the hands of readers. I’ve had this plan in mind for years.
It started out as dropping content monthly and getting on a schedule. I wanted to save up a backlog of books and publish this one a month for as long as I could.
That plan morphed into what I’m currently about to do which will see content drop weekly starting on 5/5/2021 and looking at the schedule, except for a couple of holes and books I know I’ll be able to write in that time frame, the schedule goes out until 10/5/2022. Yeah, a year and a half of dropping content every week for a year and a half.
And that’s quite likely just the beginning. If this gains a good head of steam, I could keep that going.
That said…I’m terrified. I’m scared. Yes, fear creeps into my head. That little voice telling me “What if you fail?” “What if no one reads your stuff?” “What if people hate it?”
Yeah, I’ve got a little voice in my head that tells me all the time that my works sucks. My stories are awful. This is all going to fall flat on its face. I’ll fail. Worse, I’ll fail publicly for all to see and point at what not to do.
That feeling sucks. Big time.
I like to think I’ve got a thick skin. That people don’t hate my work. Maybe I even have a shot at making this succeed. What if I don’t try? How will I ever know? I’m more scared of not trying and never knowing. Living a life of “what if” tearing me apart from both ends.
What I was in my early 20s, I wanted to be in a metal band. A punk band. Any band. I wasn’t a great musician, but I had fun. You’ve seen the video. We weren’t terrible but we were far from great. I tried…I failed. I had to admit to my friends, my family, that I was a failure at what I tried to do. I was a starving musician and let me tell you, being a musician was a blast…it was the starving part that sucked.
One of my other life-long dreams has been to be a writer. I know I’ve dropped the ball many times over the years and had several false starts. That all changes on 5/5/2021. That’s when I start dropping content and getting this dream under way. Let’s see how long I can keep it going.
I’m off to go make magic happen.
Until Next Time!