Hostess ain’t got nothing on me

cherry pie

As I mentioned in a previous post, Hostess really screwed up their cherry pies. Not just kinda screwed them up, but ROYALLY screwed them up. If offered a year supply of their new cherry pies, I think I’d be hard pressed to accept. I don’t think I’d even give them to the homeless they’re that bad.

So, I made some of my own. I need to make more, perhaps different pies. I’ll have to see what other fillings they have at the store. I just need to make sure My Favorite Daughter doesn’t decide that we need to start making Dandelion Pies or something. My fruit pies don’t need to weeds!

Until Next Time!

WOO WOO!

The torture will continue until exercise improves!

Me: Ow! Ow! Ow! I’m in pain kid. Please don’t make me run tonight.

My Favorite Daughter: Oh, quit being such a big baby. I need to run and you’re going with me. Get up.

Me: No, you don’t understand. My legs ache. I feel like I’ve broken something.

MFD: Did I say I cared? I said you’re going with me and we’re going running.

Me: Why do you hate me? Can’t you just let me die in peace?

MFD: Quit being such a big baby.

At this point she threw the keys to sputtery truck at me. This time we didn’t go to the high school track where the entire marching band could watch us jog in circles. Oh no. That was too dignified. This time we went to Cuyamaca College and used their track. Running in the dark is so much better.

Ok, it wasn’t that dark, but compared to the bright lights of the high school football field, it’s DARK! It’s also right next to a big hill near all the wildlife. Yes, I life in San Diego, but I’m out in East County where we’re next to the wildlife and everything. I’ve seen Coyotes chasing Road Runners (and yes, I yelled BEEP BEEP!)

So we went to the track and started jogging in circles. I was in pain (no, seriously!) so I walked, then jogged, then walked, then jogged. Then got lapped by my favorite daughter who laughed at me. <grumble> Eventually we neared the 30 minute mark and little miss I’m-going-to-lap-my-father-and-laugh-at-him SCREAMS! Okay, other than a bunch of bunnies that were hanging around eating grass and dandelions (I should have brought them one of my favorite daughter’s green smoothies) there wasn’t anyone else on the track. If you have a kid and you hear them scream, it really gets your blood pumping to figure out what happened. I made it to catch up to her in record time (pain was quickly forgotten). When I got to her, she was running in circles making a whining sound with her hands over her head.

MFD: Is it gone?

Me: Is what gone?

MFD: The bat! It attacked me. Twice! <more whining commenced>

Me: Maybe it wanted a weed smoothie

MFD: <the bat now forgotten> They’re not weeds and they’re good for you

Me: I think I see that bat

MFD: No no no no

I’m still in pain, but the laugh was well worth it. Apparently my favorite daughter has my mom’s fear of flying things. Perhaps I’ll post a story about why one day.

Until Next Time!

WOO WOO!

Read Along: Paradise Palms: Chapter 34


Paradise Palms

Paradise Palms:
A Murder Mystery in a Time-Traveling Trailer Park.


Sam

Sam popped out of the open hatch and aimed his rifle in all directions. The sun was brighter than he’d expected and he allowed a minute for his eyes to adjust to the light. Nothing moved, but the stench of the place overwhelmed him. He looked out in all directions, taking in the small group of buildings that stood out in stark contrast to the vast, dense jungle that surrounded them. Sam had thought time travel would be painful for some reason. In fact, it was nothing more than a change of scenery.

“Is there anyone out there?” Girlfriend called up.

Sam climbed back down the small ladder and sat back in the driver’s seat, looking out the large front windows, tinted enough to keep the glare of the sun off them. Tiger Lily, Lin, and Girlfriend all looked at him expectantly.

“No one is out there. I saw her car. Let’s drive up there first. Maybe she’s still in there.”

Sam started to roll forward. Doc Brenner had told him that he’d have fifteen minutes to get the car off the pad before the pad returned to the present time.

The car, if you could call something the size of a school bus with six huge wheels a car, rolled forward with only the whir of an electric motor. The solar cells that covered the exterior of the space-age looking vehicle would supply enough power for the motor and all the comforts of home that Doc had installed. Doc’s son, Clive, had wanted to do some deep exploration, but obviously couldn’t wait until the car was built.

The car came equipped with three beds, a small kitchen, even a bathroom. This was a dream RV for someone like Sam. He could go anywhere in it, road or no road. Sam had driven a lot of vehicles from backhoes to trucks, from automatic to stick shift, but never had he driven anything that rolled so smoothly and effortlessly across the ground. Just a slight press on the accelerator joysticks and the thing moved.

No sooner did Sam start forward to investigate the severed car when he spotted Myra running out of a small cabin and waving her arms frantically. Sam slammed on the brakes. His body lurched forward.

“I guess we found her,” he said.

“Myra!” Girlfriend yelled. She was the first up the hatch and outside. Lin and Tiger Lily quickly followed.

Sam’s heart stopped pounding. The sudden stop jarred him even though he’d been only slightly rolling forward. He released his grip from the steering device, two handles like an old ATV would use to control the wheels on either side of the vehicle, and followed the girls outside.

Although the sun shone brightly and it was far warmer and muggier than it was in the future Minnesota, Sam was glad he’d convinced the girls to change clothes. They all had changed into pants and long sleeve shirts. Girlfriend and he wore plain shirts, Lin and Tiger Lily had put on black jeans and matching black, Metallica t-shirts. At least they’d changed. Sam had encouraged them all to bring coats just in case they needed something to keep warm at night.

The car had been equipped with blankets and bedding that would do if they needed to be outside at night, for some reason. Sam didn’t know what to expect and Doc hadn’t given them much to go by. Other than “Be careful,” and “Follow the GPS to Clive,” they were pretty much going to have to wing it.

At least the first step in their journey had ended well. They’d arrived and found Myra. Now they just needed to find the police officer that had fallen down and gotten lost. Once they’d found the two of them, they could head out into the wilderness and find Clive. That task would be simple, as the GPS device and the satellite link up would lead them straight to him.

It sounded that simple, at least.

Myra hugged the girls aggressively. She even hugged Sam when he’d climbed off the car.

“Thank God you’re here. I was so scared. I mean, not just being here, but of that thing. What is that?”

Sam said, “That’s what Doc sent us here in. He wants us to go and find his son.”

“No, we can’t go out there,” Myra pointed to the plains and lake that lay just beyond the trees.

“Why?”

“We’ll cause a time paradox. If we’re truly in the past, we could do something that could disrupt life as we know it on Earth.”

“We talked with Doc about that. He assured us that nothing like that would happen. We just need to head out there, not bother anything, and bring Clive back.”

“Clive?”

“That’s Doc’s son. First, though, did you see the officer?”

“What officer? I heard gunshots last night.”

Sam’s ears perked up. “Gunshots?”

“Yes, over that way, I think. I was too scared to go and look, so I just…” Myra turned away. Girlfriend hugged her.

“I’m going to see what happened over there.” Sam pulled the rifle off his shoulder and walked purposefully to the woods. He looked back at the girls. “Why don’t all of you either go inside the cabin or inside the car. Just stay out of sight.”

Tiger Lily looked offended, as did Girlfriend, but they all went inside the cabin and watched from the window. Sam only started off again when he was sure they were all safe inside. He didn’t like ordering them around, but someone had to take charge, and he certainly wasn’t about to take orders from any of them. He was the only one who had any experience in the wilds of Minnesota, and he doubted it would be much different here. Sam took a deep breath and penetrated the foliage at the edge of the encampment.

The dirt sloped down and deep into the growth. The rising sun was instantly blotted out. Sam tried to enter the woods where he thought they’d found Casper’s body. He stepped slowly with the rifle at the ready. He wasn’t going to let anything take him by surprise. If the officer had fired shots, he might be hiding down here and shoot at anything moving. Sam cursed himself for not getting the man’s name.

“Hello!” Sam yelled and froze, waiting for a response. None came.

He took several more steps into the woods. The undergrowth cleared slightly, but the overhead canopy kept much light from getting down to the ground, which was moist and spongy. Little footprints of some small animals littered the ground, as well as some larger prints the size of Sam’s thirteens. Something rustled in a bush; Sam spun in that direction and froze. Slowly he raised the rifle and took aim. His hunter’s instinct took over and he waited for whatever it was to reveal itself before he’d reveal himself by firing a shot.

“Don’t waste any shots and scare off the game,” his father’s voice said in his head. “Just stay still and wait. That’s all you need to do.”

Sam had no intention of moving until he knew if this was a threat or something else. Something jumped out of the bush and leapt to a nearby tree. The thing looked almost like a bird, blue and yellow feathers with a lizard head, and skittered up the tree and jumped off, then soared to another tree, and another until it was out of sight. Sam lowered the gun and started to breathe normally again.

He tried to remember what the area where the officer had disappeared looked like. He scanned about for footprints, human footprints, but nothing jumped out at him. He didn’t like being in an unknown area. He’d spent so much time in the Minnesota woods with oak, birch, and other trees he knew, smells he knew, and sounds he knew. The drone of bugs, smell of some rotting animal, and plants he could barely recognize assailed his senses.

“Stay focused, Sam. Stay focused.”

Sam looked skyward, as if it would do any good. He felt suddenly lost and his head started to whirl and spin. He turned left, he turned right, and suddenly he didn’t know which way the camp lay. He needed to get out of the woods. He felt in danger. Fear gripped his chest and his breathing quickened. He had to get back to the camp, but where was it?

“Hello!” Sam shouted in a panic. This must be what happened to the officer. He panicked. Sam had to keep his head. Never let fear overtake you. Breathe deeply.

Sam tried to take a deep breath, but the sound of a tree groaning in protest halted his intake. Sam backed up against the nearest and largest tree and waited. The tree eventually gave way and snapped. It crashed down next to the tree Sam laid against. He almost laughed. Would the tree have made any noise if he hadn’t been there? His dad used to joke that they didn’t because he’d been quiet enough to trick the trees into thinking he wasn’t there.

Sam needed to be that quiet now. He tried to will his body to become one with the tree, to become hidden just as his father had been hidden to trick the trees into thinking he wasn’t there.

Loud breaths blasted out of massive nostrils. The sound was muddy. Sam knew it was because of the blood pounding in his veins due to his accelerated heart rate. He’d felt this when he’d confronted his first bear. That had turned out well, but Sam had been told what to expect. This situation was all new and he had no idea what to expect.

Sam chanced a glance to either side. Large feet pressed into the mushy ground and grew nearer with each passing heartbeat. A massive snout, pebbled in texture and red in color, appeared to Sam’s right. Sam tensed. The snout swung toward Sam and rubbed against the tree. Sam didn’t move. Just like a rutting deer or bear, this thing must be marking its territory. If Sam made any movement, it’d see him for sure. All he had to do was nothing.

It moved on and Sam watched as it strode into the woods. The beast had to be at least thirty or forty feet long, but the way it walked stood no taller than eight or nine feet high, its head and tail perfectly balanced over massive legs. Tiny arms, held tight to its body, served no purpose.

It stopped and cocked its head to the side, as if it was listening to something. The head rose slightly and moved from side to side, slowly as if to listen more intently. What could it be hearing? Sam watched in horror as it turned and started through the thick undergrowth and up a small incline.

“No.” It was headed toward the cabin. Toward the girls. Sam was certain that had to be the direction of the encampment. He had to do something. He couldn’t let that thing get up there. He raised the rifle and took aim. He wondered, as he squeezed the trigger, just how much good a little bullet would do against a monster like that.

The report of the rifle caught the beast’s attention. Sam wasn’t even sure if the bullet had penetrated until he saw a small trickle of blood appear on the hindquarters. It roared and charged.

Sam had been charged at before. Deer and moose don’t take too kindly to being shot at. If you don’t hit them just right, they will come at you. Bears will usually charge just to frighten you off. This thing, with its beady eyes and massive teeth, had something else entirely in mind. It would charge down that little hill in a matter of seconds and eat him.

There was no time for thought, only action. Sam aimed between its eyes and fired. It stopped, shook its head, and restarted its charge.

“Damn!” The skull must be too thick to allow the bullet to penetrate.

Sam fired two more shots between the eyes. Again it stopped, but this time rubbed its head against a small, nearby tree, breaking the tree in the process. After a brief bout with the tree, it refocused on Sam. This pause gave Sam the only thought he could think. If the skull was too thick, he’d have to aim elsewhere. He aimed for one of the beady eyes and before the beast could charge again, fired.

The eye erupted in a gout of gore. The beast yowled in pain. A roar that made the woods quiet. It was so loud, Sam had to cover his ears, but he never took his eyes off the dinosaur. This is a dinosaur. I’m killing a dinosaur.

The beast had enough and ran into the woods, away from the encampment. Sam wanted to sit on the ground. He wanted to just let his body recover from the stress of encounter, but he didn’t have the luxury. The sounds of battle could attract more of those things. The smell of blood in the air might bring any assortment of monsters to this area. He couldn’t risk that. He had to hurry and see if he could find any trace of the officer and get back to the car so they could all be inside and safe. He had to hurry.

My Favorite daughter and her green smoothies

dandelions-_2205021b

I love my favorite daughter. Odds are I wouldn’t trade her in for a new car any time soon, but she’s making that choice more and more difficult.

Yes, she makes me green smoothies. I didn’t really pay attention to what she was putting in them as they tasted good. With enough apple juice or orange juice or fresh pineapple, you can mask the taste of nearly anything. It really is an art and I’m proud that she’s so passionate about it.

Where my problem comes in is what she’s decided to feed me. I’ve made it well know to her that I’m not a fan of coconut. Sure, I’ll plug and chug (plug my nose and down the drink as fast as I can) but I would rather actually enjoy what’s given to me. I think I was better off not knowing what she was putting into the drinks.

The other day she had me take her to Whole Foods. This is a very organic-friendly store with a wide array of different greens. Sure, I’ve got no problem with greens. I spent some time in Florida and had my share of collard greens with a big old hunk of fat in there for flavor. I love spinach. I’m new to kale, but I’ll give it a shot. She started packing greens into the basket and was like a kid in a candy store (well, not MY kid in a candy store because her sense of what’s good and what’s not is way outta whack). I was busy looking at the wide variety of vegetables and other things while she proceeded to fill the basket.

We got home and she’s been making green smoothies. As I said, they’re good. That was until I’m drinking away and she informs me that the dandelion greens are a little more bitter than she thought they would be so she used extra pineapple to take out the the bitter.

Wait! What? Weeds! You’re making me drink WEEDS!

Dandelions, for those not versed in the abundance of weeds, are those yellow flowers that pop up in yards everywhere that people spray with weed killer to get rid over before they turn into beautiful puffballs and propagate throughout your yard and become a denizen you desperately want to get rid of. When I had a yard I would spend hours with a spray bottle killing these little beasts.

And my favorite daughter was making green smoothies with them! Weeds! In my drink!

If it didn’t taste so good, I would have gone down to the nearest bush and poured it in for the bunnies to eat. (they eat dandelions, don’t they?).

I still maintain that my favorite daughter is trying to do me in.

Until Next time!

WEEDS WEEDS!

My Favorite Daughter is trying to kill me.

I love my favorite daughter. She’s an awesome kid. She really is. But I think she has it out for me! I don’t know where he obsession with killing me has come from, but I’m convinced she wants to do me in.

Let’s start from the beginning.

At the end of last Volleyball club season, she knew she was going to go to Pepperdine University for a week-long, volleyball camp. She was very excited. She started reading about diet and exercise as laid out on their website and decided this was a great thing. She started doing her own core workout, started running and dragged me along. She started making green smoothies, eating spinach (I’d call her Popeye, but she wouldn’t get the reference and hit me). She decided this was so great, that she needed someone to participate with her.

She’d make green smoothies each morning. Most of these were a miss. A miss in a major way. I’d thank her for my grass smoothie and she’d hit me and try to convince me it wasn’t ‘that bad’. Then she started using coconut milk in her smoothies! coconut! If God had intended man to drink coconut milk he wouldn’t have made it so difficult to get! So I’d have a grass and coconut smoothie. Holy UGH! I’d rather have a Hostess Cherry Pie (see the previous post if you don’t get this reference)

Fortunately her smoothie making skills have gotten better and with our brand new bullet (THANK YOU MILLICAN!) she can make one at a time so an entire blender isn’t filled with a mess I ain’t gonna drink.

Her latest attempts to kill me have gone too far! She wants me to jog! Run! Sprint! I mean, I’m OLD! My body ain’t cut out for jogging, running, or sprinting. Seriously? The past two outings we’ve done roughly 3 miles in 30 minutes (give or take depending on how many times I need to stop and throw up, fake a heart attack so she’ll slow down, or limp like I’ve broken my leg). She’s relentless! “Come on Papi, this is slow!” Sure, she’s young and in the best shape of her life. My best shape is round (Thank you Hostess!) My weight wasn’t made for running in circles! It was made for sitting in front of a computer writing code, writing books, making book covers. Not running!

She tells me it’ll get better if I keep at it, but I think she’s trying to kill me!

Until Next Time (Maybe!)

OW OW!

Where’s my Cherry Pie?

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If you’re like me, when Hostess products disappeared from the shelves, you were clueless as to what happened (Yes, I live with my head in the sand). I was shocked to see this staple of the American diet disappear. I had thought Hostess products would be there forever! Whenever I made a trip to the store I would usually grab a Cherry Pie and enjoy my reward for making the trip to the store, but now they were gone. I had thought maybe it was just something to do with the grocery store. NO! It wasn’t! Local convenience had also stopped carrying my favorite products. Not just cherry pies were missing, but so were the twinkies, ding dongs, ho hos, golden cup cakes. It was an empty shelf!

Yes, soon 7-11 started making its own variation, but they were a shadow of the original. It just wasn’t the same. I was sad.

I was even sadder when I discovered that, despite my best efforts, I wasn’t able to keep the Hostess company in business. My consumption wasn’t enough. I hadn’t encouraged enough people to consume these tasty pastries.

A light at the end of the tunnel appeared. My favorite treats wouldn’t be gone forever. The company was just undergoing a liquidation. I didn’t care exactly what was happening legally, I just wanted my snacks back! My waistline was shrinking! (well, not really, but that’s a story for another day).

Color me surprised when I went to the store and there, next to the cashier! HOSTESS FRUIT PIES! My favorite daughter and I grabbed a pair and once the groceries were loaded up into Sputtery Truck we dug into our reward.

Only, it wasn’t a reward. It felt like a punishment. The first bite said “YOU WANT FRUIT PIES! POO ON YOU!”

I was seriously disappointed. I thought maybe I had gotten a bad pie, until I saw my favorite daughter looking like she was going to gag. Yes, they were THAT bad. Gone was the crusty glaze. Replace with just a hint of glaze. Gone was the sweet, flaky pastry. Replaced with a doughy, bland shell that tasted like mush. Gone was the sweet, sweet cherry filling. Replaced with less than half the filling you’d gotten before and far less tasty.

I had to struggle to finish mine (Hey! I wasn’t letting this thing go to waste). My Favorite daughter offered me hers, but there was no way I was about to eat two of those things. Holy Yuk in the mouth, Batman. There things were awful! It’d been a very long time since I’d been disappointed with a Hostess product.

This might have ruined me for life on these things. I may try again. Hopefully I just go a bad batch, but I don’t think so. I think whoever took over Hostess has no idea what they’re doing. It’s really sad to see one of the best treats go to one of the worst. I’d rather have the 7-11 brand and those weren’t all that great. Perhaps I’ll start making my own pies again. I do have a pie maker. All I need are pie crusts and pie filling. Hmmm, hey, good idea. If Hostess can’t fill that void they left, I’ll have to do it myself.

Seriously, Hostess. Please start making better products. I know there’s a bottom line to consider, but making a terrible product will ensure there is no bottom line.  Until you get your act together and start making a product that’s actually edible, I’ll stick to making my own.

I’m off to go make some Cherry Pies.

Until Next Time!

WOO WOO!

New Billy Barbarian cover

I spent some time last night (and tonight) working on a newer version of the Billy Barbarian cover. I added things (like my name D’oh!) and a better looking sign. I also improved the font (I think). I’m much happier with this one. I may tweak it some more, but for now I’m liking it.

How about you?

 

Billy Barbarian - Sethopolis

Read Along: Paradise Palms: Chapter 33


Paradise Palms

Paradise Palms:
A Murder Mystery in a Time-Traveling Trailer Park.


Myra

The sun rose and Myra opened her eyes. She gasped, thinking she’d missed all the activities of the night before and that the crash had been a dream, but it hadn’t. She looked around and could see that she was indeed in a jungle, next to some oddly-placed encampment. She rubbed her eyes and looked all around the car; the highway was gone, the woods were now jungle, and the trailer park had indeed been replaced by a set of small buildings.

Nothing stirred in the woods. At least that was one small saving grace. She’d heard noises all through the night. She pulled her coat tightly about herself. She had to leave the car. That much was obvious. What wasn’t so obvious was if something watched her. Reptiles could be nocturnal, but were primarily daytime creatures. The buildings weren’t very far away. She could make a run for it. She’d just have to hope that the doors were unlocked.

She looked down at the locked door of the car and laughed. If a dinosaur really wanted in, there was probably little she could do to stop it. She wondered how the little buildings could prevent them from getting in. She sat up straight and looked at the ground and couldn’t see any visible footprints. There were an awful lot of tracks in the dirt like those of a front loader, but there wasn’t any heavy equipment nearby.

She chanced opening the door that she’d so frightfully locked when she’d arrived in the night. It didn’t squeak as she’d suspected a car that had crashed would, but then she really hadn’t crashed, had she? She’d passed through the barrier that Sam had proposed. Only, she was now on the wrong side. Based on all the evidence, she was in prehistoric times, and would need to deal with prehistoric creatures.

Getting out of the car took a great deal of willpower. Every rustle of leaves, every chirp or buzz of insect made her want to jump back into the confines of the car, but she had to get out. There had to be someone in the buildings. Black smoke issued forth from one building that sat off near a bank of solar panels. Myra assumed it must be a power generator.

The other three buildings were all different sizes, but larger than the smoky building. Only one had windows and this must be the one the person lived in. She took a deep breath and started walking toward the building.

Something smelled really bad. At first she wanted to blame the black smoke of the generator, but it wasn’t an oily smell. It was more the smell of rotting flesh. Almost as if something big nearby had died. She wondered if it was the other part of the hadrosaur they’d seen down by the lake, but that would be impossible, or the one on her side would be just as smelly. It wasn’t. It had to be something else.

A rustle from the bushy ferns on the edge of the clearing prompted her forward. She trotted to the cabin. As she ran, she could see large bolts across the double, barn-style doors on the other two buildings. Perhaps one housed some other equipment that must have been used to create this large, flat area, but she didn’t want to take the time to peek inside. She needed to get the attention of the person inside the house.

Myra ran to the door and stared pounding on it. “Let me in! Open the door.”

She tried the knob and the door swung inward. She stood and looked stupidly at the open door before entering.

“Hello? Is anyone in here?” She looked around for a light switch. Despite the windows, the interior of the cabin was still dim. The switch was an old-style, twist knob. She gave it a turn and with a loud clack, the lights came on. She closed the door.

“Hello?”

The cabin had only one room. That much was obvious. She could see the windows on all four walls of the building. On the far wall sat the bed, unmade, and a small bachelor dresser. On top of it rested a gas lantern. A bookshelf held a small collection of books and a large set of binoculars. From the titles Myra could tell they were all about paleontology and dinosaurs.

She flipped through a couple volumes. Notes had been made next to some of the species such as “Coloration is wrong. The hadrosaur females are brightly colored and the males are a dull-brown.” And “I don’t think the beasts ever shut up. I had thought with the nightfall they’d stop all the honking, but it’s so warm, they just keep on going. Do they ever sleep?” She laughed. She’d found a treasure trove of knowledge, but if no one knew she was here, she could likely be trapped here forever. She returned the book to the shelf.

On one wall hung a small ice chest and a set of cabinets. On the counter lay a hotplate with a blue, steel coffee pot upon it. She touched it and wasn’t surprised to find it cold. Perhaps the person had left early in the morning? She looked at her watch. It was only 7:00AM. Whoever lived in the cabin had to have heard her car when it arrived. Even over the drone of the bugs in the area the sudden appearance of a car skidding across the dirt would have attracted attention.

Myra took some time to peruse the contents of the cabinets and wasn’t surprised by anything she found. Simple canned goods, pots, pans, bowls and plates, utensils, and the like. Everything looked very plain, but clean. The entire cabin had a just-picked-up appearance.

The windows allowed Myra to look out over the valley and distant lake. As she neared the window, she could see writing on the window with small arrows pointing into the distance. She tried to focus on the writing, then into the distance to what it may be denoting.

The first arrow was labeled “Herd #12: first affected” and she could see many specks in the distance at the point of the arrow. She squinted and tried to make out what the specks could be, but couldn’t.

She returned to the bookshelf and retrieved the binoculars. They were heavier than she’d expected and she nearly dropped them. Her heart pounded. Could this be a herd of hadrosaurs? She licked her lips in anticipation as she put the cord of the binoculars over her head and lifted them to her eyes. It took several seconds and a few times adjusting the focus to get a clear image, but far off in the distance she could make out large dull, brown masses lying on the ground next to colorful and larger mounds. Each looked deformed and somehow out of place where they lay. Nothing around them moved.

She scanned slowly around the masses until she saw what looked like a head and then she knew she was looking at a large herd of dead hadrosaurs. She gasped. Dead? But how?

Myra lowered the binoculars and read more of the writing on the window. “Herd #2: forth affected, Herd #5 second affected.” It went on and on. It appeared that every herd on this particular window had been affected, but by what? Was some sort of disease killing off the herds of hadrosaur?

She looked around the cabin for someone to ask, but she was alone. Completely alone. The gravity of the situation struck her. She was stranded in the past, perhaps sixty or seventy million years in the past, or more. Not only was she the only human in the cabin, she was likely the only human on the planet. The person who’d lived here had left and could very likely be dead.

Slowly she took the binoculars off of her neck and walked to sit on the bed. Would they know she was here? They would have to, wouldn’t they? They’d surely find the front end of her car sitting in the road in the trailer park drive. They would know she was here and come for her. They would have too. But how could they do that? If the park shifted again, she’d be inside the camp. She’d have to run out of the camp and into the Minnesota woods to return to her own time. She couldn’t very well stay outside and wait. Just because the hadrosaurs were dead in the distance didn’t mean that predators and scavengers were as well. In fact, a large number of dead bodies would attract them like a magnet. She also couldn’t risk running that far, for if she didn’t make it in time, she’d be cut in half like Sam’s friend Casper.

Myra put her face in her hands and sobbed. She was trapped. She’d always dreamed of returning to the land of the dinosaurs and seeing them in their natural habitat, but had never thought of something like this. In her dreams, the hadrosaurs would eat from her hands like the giraffe had at the zoo. She’d be able to walk among them unmolested and pet them and study them and take endless notes that would be published. She’d become famous for her research. Her dream had turned into a nightmare.

Fear gripped her as she thought about going outside and visions of tiny raptors and troodons came to her mind. Even a tyrannosaurus might be stalking around the massive buffet on those plains. She was not only trapped in the pre-historic era, but she was trapped inside a cabin with no hope of ever leaving again.

She turned and planted her face in the pillow and cried hard, fear and frustration overtaking her. She was never going to go home. Never. She would be trapped here forever. She was going to die here.

The realization of her own demise was interrupted by the whirring of a motor. Not the loud rumble of a gas-powered motor, but the sound of a large electrical motor. Myra sprang up and wiped the tears from her eyes. A quick scan of all the windows revealed a large, black vehicle sitting just to the south of the building. It had narrow, heavily-tinted windows and huge, thick tires. An all-terrain vehicle that could easily travel over the rugged ground here. The entire top of it was covered with solar cells.

A hatch on the top opened. Myra wanted to duck down, but also wanted to see who would come out. Was this the person who lived here, or had someone actually come to rescue her? She moved to the side of the window and watched.

Covers Covers Everywhere!

I got myself busy this weekend. I made a whole bunch of covers for upcoming releases (and a couple for next year). Check them out. Let me know what you think. I’m open to suggestions. Once I have edits applied I will be getting these books out there. My next step is to get a cover for V&A Shipping II. Then I only need a couple more covers and I’ll have everything I need for the rest of this year. I’m having so much fun using my new found photoshop skills 🙂

Billy Barbarian - Sethopolis

FreewayMan

Golden West Cover Season 1 Golden West Cover Season 2 Golden West Cover Season 3

OGAD-Book 1 - Chance Encounters   OGAD-Book 2 - Mount Astoon

Cover Reveal!

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Coming Soon! Ebook edition of Golden West.